I Love My Bestfriend.

Wiwi Indah Rukmana
What i love the most about you, is your innocent personality that could make me laugh even in my bitter days. The Accidental twin dress that always happen when we go to campus daily together. And also your caring ability to accept my hideous personality. I Love You xoxo. Thank You for always be there for me.

Jessica Sylvia Anastasia Gaspersz
I Love your honesty, straightforward and easy going personality. I Love your taste in fashion, your kinky style, and ur newest gossip. Eventhough i really couldn't understand your craving to animal print ;p
But I Love You Chiechie. Beside your Lovelife problem ;p You will always have me around. xoxo

Gayatri Sumantri
You always know how to cheer me up when my world is falling upside down. Your complexity yet the sillyness in you always made my day. You have a charming, fun, and a bubbly personality that kinda comforting during my lowest point :)
Thank You for trusting me to be Your friend. xoxo

My Letter, a Year Ago.

I wrote this letter with tears and hurt a year ago. It's very emotional for me to publish it. But i think i've successfully going through that phase.
The phase of growing up and be a better person through releasing someone that i loved the most.
And Alhamdulillah, the love that I've released has finally comeback to me :)


In life, you don't need a lot to make you happy.
In love, you don't need to possess in order to feel joy.

I was really afraid to be so possessive of you until my love suffocates you; to love you so much until it becomes a burden to you, something you wish you could get rid of. If my love brings you pain and guilt, i'd rather not love you (perhaps i have to pretend not to).


We meeting up, messaging each other every other day, talking on the phone late into the night and the occasional fights even..
They've made me the happiest girl and I really couldn't ask for more.

Being able to care for you, to remind you to take your meals, to tell you the food you should avoid when you're having tummy ache.. These are ways in which I could love you without hurting you.

You once asked me, how can I be happy when the person i like actually loves someone else, how is it possible for me to like you and yet not want to be with you?
at that point, I didn't know how to answer you. But now, i do.

I can be happy; I can love you and yet not want to be with you simply because the person i love, is you.
And because loving you has taught me that love doesn't mean possessing. So when you need to be loved, I'm here.
But when you want to love, you're free to go, free to love anyone else you wish to love. believe me when i say it doesn't hurt me. Believe me when i tell you, you've made me the happiest girl.

So this is my hope, will you ever be happy? I'd keep praying for that. I wanna see you smile again, I wanna see you being blissfully in love, even if it isn't with me. It doesn't matter so long as I can see you smile.

If you wanna know why am I writing this? So that one day, when I really have to leave you, there would still be a memory of sorts..
Of a dream of a love that has yet to come true. So that one day, when I'm selfish enough to tell you just how much I love you and you wanna know just how much it took me to say it.. it's all here. Right here.


P.S : Oh My God. I Started to cry just now. This Letter has successfully open up the page of my heart. The page i remain silently closed. The page about my love story and also the hardest year of my life.
Anyway, Pii.. ILUSM. always have, and always will.

It's amazing the things you realize when you lose someone.
You get mad at yourself for not saying
the things you could have said a million times.
You take for granted the days you spent doing nothing
when you could have been with them.
Anyone can be taken, at any point in our lives,
but we always wait until they're gone to say the things
we never had the courage to say.

Lesson Learned

Why was Snow White given an apple with poison?
To show that some people just pretend to be kind to you for a hidden agenda. Looks can be deceiving.

Why did Cinderella run away when the clock turned 12?
To remind us that everything has its limitation, even dreams.

Why did Ariel decide to exchange her tail for feet?
To show that anyone will try to lose anything just to be happy.

There's Gotta Be Someone For Everyone.

We are all searching for someone, that special person who will provide us what's missing in our lives. Someone who can offer companionship, or assistance, or security. And sometimes if we search very hard we can find someone who provides us with all three. Yes, we're all searching for someone. And if we can't find them, we can only pray that they find us.

Love and other Things.

My only relief is to sleep. When i’m sleeping, i’m not sad, i’m not angry, i’m not lonely, i’m nothing.

But you're the only reason i love losing sleep.

And this feeling I get in my stomach when I think about you,
I don’t ever want to lose that.

No question marks, no exclamation points! and no "buts."
I love you, flaws and all. Bottom line. No questions asked.

I love what you are, and what you do and how you try. I've seen your kindness and your strength that carries you through. I've seen the best of you. I've seen the worst of you. And I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are. And i love you.

There's nothing more valuable than having someone in your life that reminds you of who you are.

Cheers.

Here’s to the notes lost in the washer, to the memories washed away. Here’s to never forgetting. Here’s to being young and never wanting to grow up. Here’s to waking up next to the one you love. Here’s to believing every lie people ever told you. Here’s to those that just need someone to sleep next to. Here’s to change, both good and bad. Here’s to missing people you care about. Here’s to moving on. Here’s to feeling infinite. Here’s to all the wishes at 11:11, hoping one day they’ll come true. Here’s to remembering old friends. Here’s to all the words we never said, and to the ones we choke on. Here’s to holding your breath in that one perfect moment. Here’s to the ones who were on top of the world but fell off. Here’s to every tear you’ve wasted on people who never cared. Here’s to trying to be perfect even when you know its not possible. Here’s to finding him, and holding on tight. Here’s to the nights spent living for the moment. Here’s to speaking the most honest words you’ve ever spoken in your life. Here’s to those who fall in love in their dreams. Here’s to not knowing, and not wanting to know. Here’s to those who wonder where love starts. Here’s to serendipity… even if it doesn’t last. Here’s to the girls who fall too fast… and know it. Here’s to the songs that make you feel like nothing hurts. Here’s to the ones who bend over backwards to be loved, but aren’t. Here’s to everyone who has ever cried themselves to sleep. Here’s to those nights where you just can’t sleep. Here’s to every word they said to you replaying, over and over. Here’s to leaping before you look. Here’s to the times I wish I had said no. Here’s to the times I’m glad I said yes. Here’s to that tingly butterfly feeling you get when he’s around. Here’s to the nights when feelings change, for better or worse. Here’s to the first kisses. Here’s to those who survived to become stronger, better people. Here’s to life, as hard as it may be, and picking yourself up when you’ve fallen down.

Simple Vows.

Derek: I wanna be with you forever, and you wanna be with me forever. In order to do that we need to make vows. A commitment. A contract. Give me a piece of paper.

Meredith: I don't! I... I... I don't. I have post its!
Derek: (takes the post its and a pen) Ok. What do we wanna promise each other?
Meredith: That you'll love me... even when you hate me.
Derek: To love each other, even when we hate each other. (writes it down) No running. Ever! (Mer smiles and comes and sits in front of him) Nobody walks out. No matter what happens.
Meredith: No running.
Derek: (writes it down) What else?
Meredith: That we'll take care of each other, even when we're old, and smelly, and senile. And... if I get Alzheimer's and forget you...
Derek: I will remind you who I am, every day. To take care when old, senile, and smelly (writes it down) This is forever. (signs it) Sign.

Meredith: This is our wedding. A post it? (smiles)
Derek: Mhmmm. If you sign it.
Meredith: (signs it, and hands it back. Has tears in her eyes) Now what?
Derek: Now I kiss the bride. (They kiss)
Meredith: (smiling) Married.

Derek: (smiling) Married. (sticks their post it in Mer's locker) You see that? (Mer nods and smiles) Plenty of time.