Love, Save The Empty - Erin McCarley

Little girls don't know how to be sweet girls
Mama didn't teach me
Little boys, don't know how to treat little girls
Daddy didn't show me.


Face down, on top of your bed oh why
Did I give it up to you?
Is this how I shoot myself up high
Just high enough to get through?


Again, the false affection.
Again, we break down inside.


Love save the empty.
Love save the empty,
And save me.


Sad boy, you stare up at the sky
When no one's looking back at you.
You wear your every last disguise
You're flying, then you fall through


Again, the false attention
Again, you're breaking inside


Chorus
Love save the empty
Love save the empty
Save me
Love save the empty
Love save the empty


Stars feel like knives
They tell us why we're fighting
Storm, wait outside
Oh, love, hold us together


Chorus
Love, save the empty
Love, save the empty
Love, save the empty
Love, save the empty
Save me
And save me.

The song meaning :
the first verse is saying when we were younger we weren't taught how to respect the opposite sex, so we can't have a normal relationship, it's not fulfilling.
then the second verse is saying that the boy isn't happy with himself and always looking at others as if they are better than he is. So he pretends to be someone he isn't.
The chorus saying that love is the only thing that binds us and we need to cherish it and show it to everyone we can. It could save our life.

I Miss You.

I am tired, Beloved,
of chafing my heart against
the want of you;
of squeezing it into little inkdrops,
And posting it.

Maybe he''s doing the same thing as me,
maybe he wants so bad to call me,
but just won't because i haven't called him.

Then again,
maybe i shouldn't fill myself with false hope
that he might just be missing me like i'm missing him.

Late at night when all the world is sleeping,
I stay up and think of you.
and i wish on a star that somewhere,
you're thinking of me, too.

I miss the talks we used to have,
I miss the voice i used to hear,
I miss hearing your funny stories,
I miss your laugh and the way we laugh together.
And above all these,
I just missing you..

I often catch myself constantly wondering how you are,
sitting alone in my mind set so far,
reminiscing about your smile, voice and touch.

I am missing you, too much!

I know you've been busy,

I had things to do, too.
We haven't talked for sometime,
I wonder if everything's fine.
I had other stuff in my mind,
but i had just tell you this..

I miss you..

I've just sent an mms of the first picture to him. Without a tex, or even subject. I have no guts to do that :(
And he just replied back with 'Miss u too' message.
But i still have no courage to call and talk to him, eventhough i really miss his voice.

"The truth about the the truth: it hurts, so we lie".

"Lying is bad. or so we are told constantly from birth. honesty is the best policy. the truth shall set you free, I chopped down the cherry tree, whatever. the fact is, lying is a necessity. we lie to ourselves cause the truth, the truth freakin' hurts, no matter how hard we try to ignore or deny it. eventually the lies fall away, whether we like it or not. but here's the truth about the truth, it hurts. so we lie" - Grey's Anatomy.

The above, taken from Grey's Anatomy, is probably the truest form of lying. It's so true. We always have been taught that we are to tell the truth because its:

A) moral,

B) honest, and

C) the truth is always the best.

And as much as I do believe telling the truth is always the best way to go, why is lying easier?

People lie everyday. It may be a small fib to a enormous lie. Why do we deny when confronted about it. Are we not happy with ourselves to just tell the truth? Maybe it's because we are ashamed. I'm not sure.

I like to tell the truth. Basically because it keeps me out of any kind of trouble. But I fail. I lie. It may be small things like "Oh yeah, I do like your shoes" or sometimes bigger things.

We all claim that we lie to "protect" someone else. What a crock. We lie to protect ourselves. How sad? Not necessarily.

Life presents too many obstacles and too many difficulties to not lie. Lying can sometimes be helpful. Lying may buy you more time. Lying may be the only solution.
If you were to avoid all liars, you would be alone. You would have no one to talk to. Everyone lies. It's something we need to accept. Although, do not judge anyone on their lying. They can't help it. They are only human. I'm also, only human.

My Letter, a Year Ago.

I wrote this letter with tears and hurt a year ago. It's very emotional for me to publish it. But i think i've successfully going through that phase.
The phase of growing up and be a better person through releasing someone that i loved the most.
And Alhamdulillah, the love that I've released has finally comeback to me :)


In life, you don't need a lot to make you happy.
In love, you don't need to possess in order to feel joy.

I was really afraid to be so possessive of you until my love suffocates you; to love you so much until it becomes a burden to you, something you wish you could get rid of. If my love brings you pain and guilt, i'd rather not love you (perhaps i have to pretend not to).


We meeting up, messaging each other every other day, talking on the phone late into the night and the occasional fights even..
They've made me the happiest girl and I really couldn't ask for more.

Being able to care for you, to remind you to take your meals, to tell you the food you should avoid when you're having tummy ache.. These are ways in which I could love you without hurting you.

You once asked me, how can I be happy when the person i like actually loves someone else, how is it possible for me to like you and yet not want to be with you?
at that point, I didn't know how to answer you. But now, i do.

I can be happy; I can love you and yet not want to be with you simply because the person i love, is you.
And because loving you has taught me that love doesn't mean possessing. So when you need to be loved, I'm here.
But when you want to love, you're free to go, free to love anyone else you wish to love. believe me when i say it doesn't hurt me. Believe me when i tell you, you've made me the happiest girl.

So this is my hope, will you ever be happy? I'd keep praying for that. I wanna see you smile again, I wanna see you being blissfully in love, even if it isn't with me. It doesn't matter so long as I can see you smile.

If you wanna know why am I writing this? So that one day, when I really have to leave you, there would still be a memory of sorts..
Of a dream of a love that has yet to come true. So that one day, when I'm selfish enough to tell you just how much I love you and you wanna know just how much it took me to say it.. it's all here. Right here.


P.S : Oh My God. I Started to cry just now. This Letter has successfully open up the page of my heart. The page i remain silently closed. The page about my love story and also the hardest year of my life.
Anyway, Pii.. ILUSM. always have, and always will.

It's amazing the things you realize when you lose someone.
You get mad at yourself for not saying
the things you could have said a million times.
You take for granted the days you spent doing nothing
when you could have been with them.
Anyone can be taken, at any point in our lives,
but we always wait until they're gone to say the things
we never had the courage to say.